Parenting must be one of the most discussed topics worldwide. It is not surprising, as becoming a Mum or Dad must be one of the most life-changing events an individual can go through. I can tell you, It most definitely was for me. Nobody can prepare you for what will come. With mothers day coming up, a memory came back to me from a fantastic video I have seen ages ago. It is about mums, and I will share this with you today in this article. Mums are quite awesome really, and I think that especially new mums need to feel very special on their first mothers day. What do you reckon to be the best gifts new mums dream off?
Becoming a mum
Becoming a mum is a big deal. You can read books, receive advice from friends or watch video’s and DVD’s what to expect when becoming parents.
But at the end of the day, nobody can prepare you for what is coming.
I remember when I became a first-time mum, almost five years ago, I experienced the transition as extremely overwhelming. To me, it was confronting to experience that there was no off button available, not even when I was that sleep-deprived that I thought I couldn’t do it anymore.
(For me the best gifts new mums could wish for would be answered with sleep and pampering time to recharge myself ideally in some sort of luxury in a Spa, wow, this sounds so good lol).
The ongoing cycle of demands can be very hard, especially when you have been up all night and feel massively sleep-deprived.
I remember very well being up with my first daughter all night. At that moment, when I felled so tired and done when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore, then, in the darkest of the night, out of the nothing, she gave me the biggest smile for the very first time. All tiredness disappeared as snow under the sun and my heart just melted. It is just like this little persons can see through you. It is amazing what these little people can do with you.
Of Course, holding your perfect precious baby for the first time is probably the most mesmerising thing you would ever experience as parents. There couldn’t be possibly much bigger miracles than meeting your newborn baby, right?
After a few days of running on high and sitting on your cloud to just stare at your beautiful baby, the tiredness may start kicking in. Moving forwards, you may just begin feeling a bit different.
You may have heard of the quote: ‘The moment a child is born, the mother is born as well’?
Often, most of the attention is going to the newborn baby, but let’s not forget what is happening behind the scene of the women who just transformed into a mum. Becoming a mum is a work in progress; it is a transition stage in your life. Did your now this transition stage your experience have a beautiful name?
When I heard the definition and the word Matrescence for the first time, I felt so happy. To know the journey you are travelling, and the feeling you are experiencing has a name is a reinsuring feeling.
You are most definitely not alone in this; all women transferring into a mum are going through it. Your feelings are recognised and classified, and they even have a beautiful name, Matrescence!
The beautiful word ‘Matrascence‘ was first used by an anthropologist Dana Raphael back in 1973. I genuinely don’t understand why this beautiful word with such a vital meaning is not used more in society. I am sure many women would love to find a word whit a definition explaining the huge transition and rollercoaster of emotions they are going through.
At the end of the day, the transition from a woman to a mother is a process where many women are going through every single day.
A significant stage in our life, where we can discover our new identity and parenting style, which will fit our unique individual. It is not something we will know overnight sleep. and is a thorough process with constant adjustments. We have to live through it, to find the right answers to our questions and to discover de details of our new identity closer.
Matrescence is explained easiest as a similar transition period as adolescence, where a child transition to adulthood. Adolescence is, on the other hand, a very well known process and a commonly used word with a well-known definition.
When your baby is born, literally everything in your life will make a swift, nothing will be the same, and you have to fully recognise and accept this to find your new identity as a mum.
A woman who may have studied a lot and had a big career and huge ambitions may have to come to terms with herself that all those desires have disappeared in the transition period meeting her baby and transferring into a mum.
You may have thought that you knew what kind of parent you would become. However, you may experience that in reality, the parenting style your thought would suit you, is not entirely compatible with the new circumstances you live in now.
Matrescence can be a difficult and challenging period for a new mum.
What are the best gifts for new mums?
Of course, only you could tell me the right answer, right? Being a mum can be a demanding job. When we have older children, of course, we would answer the question that the best gifts are those your kids create or organise, really nothing can beat those moments, but some things are coming close;).
I think giving a mum time for herself, to either pamper herself or do whatever she needs to do, is probably one of the most valuable things you can give her.
This time she can put herself on number one and have the opportunity to recharge fully. To be ready again to give all her love to her family, so she can do ‘her job’, how only mums can.
As I promised earlier, I would like to share this beautiful video with you. It is many years old but not less precious, though. It is word watching and in the theme to celebrate mothers day I think it is a beautiful tribute:
Becoming a mum or a parent is a unique life event. However, the matrescence period can be quite confusing. Hormones are rocking sky high, we have to go through an identity crisis, and we are not sure who we are anymore. The days can be long, the nights can be short, but the years will be short as well.
My second baby turns one next month, and I feel quite devastated. However, I love to see her develop and grow up, at the same time, my baby will not be a baby anymore.
A while ago I have seen an interview where older mums got asked the following question: ‘If you could do it all over, what would you like to do’? Their answer to this question was: ‘ I wish I could hold my baby one more time’. I think this is a good phrase to remember on the though long days, these too will pass.
Mothersday is coming up, and even though it is a commercialised day, who cares. Mums deserve it to be spoiled, spoil them with the best gifts new mums deserve. Spoil them with what they are craving. She is so deserving of this. Give her time to recharge!
Mums, be kind for yourself, you are doing an excellent job! Enjoy all the cuddles, before you know it, your little treasure will be celebrating their first birthday.
I like to thank you for reading my article, and I hope you enjoyed it. If you are like to leave a comment or suggestion below on the topic matrescence or best gifts for new mums, we love to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by, and happy mothers day!